Hello Thoughtful People!
In 1995/1996, during one of my play dates at my family friend’s house, who was also my neighbor, I was engrossed in watching a Ghanaian movie titled Who Killed Nancy? I will not give away the whole story, but I will give you all the opportunity to watch the film. As very young and innocent-minded as I was, the end of the movie left me wondering which, looking back at it, was the intention of the film. I wondered who really killed Nancy based on the way the movie ended; actually, as I am now much older and experiencing relationships with people, I can truly understand who killed Nancy.
In 1995/1996, during one of my play dates at my family friend’s house, who was also my neighbor, I was engrossed in watching a Ghanaian movie titled Who Killed Nancy? I will not give away the whole story, but I will give you all the opportunity to watch the film. As very young and innocent-minded as I was, the end of the movie left me wondering which, looking back at it, was the intention of the film. I wondered who really killed Nancy based on the way the movie ended; actually, as I am now much older and experiencing relationships with people, I can truly understand who killed Nancy.
This week, I am here to share my thoughts, which were fueled by the story from the movie Who Killed Nancy? One thing you all should realize is that we are all born to fulfill a purpose, and it is our sole responsibility to know what our purpose is and how we can find ways to accomplish it to become fulfilled in life. Life is not just a linear straight line; there are going to be hurdles and detours due to unexpected events and situations that one might encounter, such as a job loss, a failed business/relationship, or a health crisis. These are all part of life’s journey and can lead to delays in achieving our goals.
I want you all to understand that this is what is called life, and how you respond to it determines whether you will fulfill that purpose or not. It is essential to have the dominant ideology that no one is useless, except one takes the deliberate act of making oneself useless. Now, if life happens to you, I want to reassure you that it is not the end of life. It might seem that there is nothing yet left for you; it is all lies. Let me tell you something: everyone on this planet is going through this thing called life. Some people are like natural actors who can play it to the end that everything is perfect, while others have ‘thick skin’ that, no matter what happens to them, they will survive. These ‘thick skins’ are the resilience and strength we all have within us to overcome life’s challenges. We are stronger than we think.
Remember the saying that what does not kill you makes you stronger? See those unpleasant situations/events as life experiences and lessons learned. Use them as a badge to decorate your life with your wealth of knowledge. Learning from life experiences is a valuable tool that can bring enlightenment and wisdom. Every experience, no matter how challenging, is a lesson that can guide you toward a brighter future. I encourage you to read my post on “Embrace Your Mess” to help you understand how you can use your mess as a message to bring you honor.
When there is a detour or wrong decision in your life’s journey, it is okay and safe to take time to reset, and I keep saying this again and again as it is one of the essentials in life, take a journey to self. Again, this is not just a walk in the park; it is a process that needs soul searching on who you indeed are, and through that, you begin to find purpose. Self-discovery is the key to finding your purpose and feeling empowered in your life. I want to be plainly honest with you that you will find triggers to blame yourself for making mistakes or wrong decisions. Remember to take it as a lesson learned and again turn it into a message for people to learn from, which might just be your purpose in adding value to lives. You can read my popular post on “Building Confidence Through Emotional Intelligence—A Journey To Self” and “Unleashing Authenticity: Tips to Embrace Your Unique Self” to help know how to accept who you indeed are and use that as an edge over others, i.e., using your uniqueness to start that journey to self and begin to find that realignment to finding purpose.
Why am I stating all these? Suppose you do not take the time and work to get back on track by finding that journey to self and realizing the lessons learned from those unpleasant situations. In that case, you will not be able to understand what your life’s purpose is because taking the time to know yourself is to raise awareness of who you indeed are and accepting your strengths and weaknesses, finding ways your strengths can bring you opportunities (i.e., purposes), and how threats can arise if you do not work on your weaknesses (i.e., life’s hurdles and detours).
There are consequences if you give up when life happens to you. What are these consequences? Individuals will begin to victimize themselves and see themselves as no good, i.e., as failures. Likely, you will hardly find time to get on track as you blame yourself for everything and make it your fault or blame others for your mistakes, i.e., refusing to learn from them. Remember, there are second chances in life if you embrace them, but you have to, first of all, go through the journey of knowing yourself and embracing your mess; then, you can find purpose and become the valuable personality you are created to be. There are no shortcuts to it. The primary failure is when you give up and blame life for it. We have seen success stories of how people have had a second chance to fulfill their life’s purpose even when they were in worse situations. Life is full of opportunities for redemption and growth. If you want to learn a practical way to refocus your mind, read my post, “A Focused Mind!”
I am a perfect example…for those of you who read my post on “Shaping Your Story: Embracing Learning, Growth, and Self Improvement in 2024”, you might have an idea that I am a single mother. Trust me, I was one of those women who gave myself the dominant ideology that I would never be a divorcee. However, life happened! I was in a 10-year marriage that almost took my life. Now, I had to get out of the marriage to save myself. However, it was just the beginning of another unpleasant journey. This time, I was bitter and depressed because I saw myself as a failure. After all, I defined success as being a happily married woman with a godly family. Since that was not the case and I became a single mother, I saw myself as a failure.
Then something happened, and I began to take a journey to self, which was like a detoxing process. It was painful as I had to let the toxins of bitterness, unforgiveness, feeling no good, failure, and depression out of my system. As it was a journey to self, I had to be very careful about the people I allowed around my circle, as it was a sensitive time in my life. It took me over 2 years to get to know myself; I asked sincere questions to myself, which helped me to learn more about myself in the areas of strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats; yes, call it a SWOT analysis; it does work! This 2 years process (which might be different for others) not only helped me to refocus my mindset but also allowed me to embrace my mess and use it to create a message to help our current and future generations see reasons to make better choices by taking a journey to self at the early stages of their lives. It will help them to make strategic relationships to help them fulfill their purpose and avoid making costly mistakes.
How does the movie Who Killed Nancy relate to this? I employ you to watch the film and make connections. It is crucial to know your purpose or realign yourself to it; if not, others will define that purpose for you, which in most cases is different from the purpose you were created for, leading to frustration and desperation to find solutions. The solutions will be far reached because the only way to get it resolved is to take that journey to the self; again, there are no shortcuts to it. These are reasons why good people end up with narcissistic and toxic relationships, who will tell them who they are and how they should behave, being under their control because they did not find time to know who they are, and making others do that job for them. For more knowledge on identifying individuals with narcissistic behaviors and how to deal with them, you can read my posts on “The Narcissistic Checks” and “How To Deal With Narcissists.”
To my thoughtful people, as you all know, you are valuable and have a great life’s purpose to fulfill. You are not alone, and no man can live an island. Make it a deliberate and intentional act to surround yourself with people who will help you find that journey to self and create that awareness to fulfill your purpose. Let your mind sparkle to be focused and realign yourself to become that person of purpose you have been designed to be and DO NOT GIVE UP ON LIFE!
Now, I leave you all to ponder on this post and share your thoughts and experiences so that we all can learn from and create lessons learned for the Sparkling Mind community to use as a guideline to create awareness and empowerment and avoid ending up like the character on Who Killed Nancy. You are not alone, and you got this!
Stay Thoughtful!
I got this and I am not alone. Awesome read.
💕 ✨️ 💕
Thank you for your post and …Stay Thoughtful!
Well done Sparkles.! You have allowed to go deep in thoughts and bring out what I am about to share. I made a mistake (not cardinal or life deciding….lol) many years ago. I couldn’t just forgive myself. I tied so many life events to it .Many things after that including a stubbed toe (can you imagine?!😊) were attached to the wrong step. I just kept beating myself up over a trivial error. This led to many down moments for years. Did I suffer the consequences of the mistake? Oh yes! Should I have stayed down or remain stagnated? Hell no! The day I decided to pick myself up after realizing that there was nothing I could do about the past, I was liberated,
Do you remember this song ?
“Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow
Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here
It’ll be here better than before
Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone”
As we go through this life with it’s complexities, there is a 2nd chance. No matter what, get up! I repeat: Get up! You can realign yourself with your purpose. Learn lessons from your past, your mistakes and mistakes by others if relevant to you. Drop what you have to drop and pick up things/relationships that will benefit you. If King David could get a new lease in life, Jonah restored, the about to be stoned woman (brought to Jesus) given a second chance and a 94 year old singer recently brought to limelight in his twilight years, it is not too late for you. I plan to watch Who Killed Nancy. Meanwhile, please never let whoever or whatever killed Nancy ‘kill’ you or your spirit. Thank you
Thank you very much for sharing with us this thoughtful comment. I know readers will learn something from it.
I can literally write a post about your comment as it raises a lot of knowledge. Yes absolutely 💯 when is your time to shine, nothing can stop it whether one starts over again or not.
Most important thing is to get up taking the experience and lesson learned, dust off regrets, and walk with our heads held up high!
…Stay Thoughtful ❤️✨️❤️