Hello, Sparkling Minds!
Welcome to another thought-provoking discussion and my thoughts for today is The Narcissistic Checks. Have you ever noticed that individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits often remain oblivious to their own behavior? Let’s delve into this intriguing topic.
If you tell a narcissist that they are behaving like one, they will actually take a huge offense to it and play victim, which is actually Check 1. They do not see any problem with their behaviors and will defend their actions to their own advantage. It is also mostly talked about or asked why most good/naïve individuals fall into the hands of narcissists. Well, that is another check, Check 2; they actually like to be in relationships (of any sort) with good/naïve people because these intelligent individuals (yes, they are knowledgeable) are aware that they can easily manipulate and take advantage of them.
It is important to study the pattern of a narcissistic individual. They are actually very attractive and intelligent people. Most of them (not all, but the majority of them) are easygoing with their words, trapping the person of interest by telling them what they need to hear. However, their actions say otherwise, which gives us Check 3, their actions and words do not align with each other.
They are also fond of making people their projects, like groomers. However, it is a form of control that helps to feed into their narcissistic behavior; Check 4. Do not mistake someone trying to control you with a mentor or a leader; there is a vast difference. A mentor is someone to whom you aspire where you are at their level of accomplishment, and you want to emulate that, so what he/she will do is guide you to avoid making mistakes that they made along their journey to help you make it easier for you to attain such accomplishments. Great mentors will even guide you to accomplish more than they achieved. True leaders sacrifice and serve to make sure the people they are leading are led to the right path, find their purpose, and achieve it. This brings me to Check 5, narcissists will not sacrifice anything for someone else’s benefit. They will do things for you only to make themselves look good. Have you ever noticed individuals who will instead help strangers than relatives just because they want to look good? Yup, that is a narcissist check. They are not selfless in nature and are not willing to make sacrifices unless it benefits them and gives them a good image.
Talking about keeping a good image, have you ever kept someone accountable, and instead of a thank you, you are viewed as the perpetrator or the person with the problem? Well, that is another narcissistic check, Check 6. Narcissists like to be viewed by others the way they want to be viewed, meaning they will do everything at all costs to keep a good image. If you correct them on any behavioral issue, you will be viewed as an enemy as you have tampered with what they are trying to secure, their image. You can tie this into Check 1. This is why if you react to the actions provoked by a narcissist, instead of apologizing for their provoked actions, they will victimize themselves by your reaction to their actions, making you the villain.
There are many other narcissistic checks. However, these are the most common ones, and it is essential to notice these checks as these individuals can be in the form of a friend, relative, boss, co-worker, etc. So, it is necessary to know these things; that way, it will help you to understand how to relate with an individual with narcissistic behavior. You will need to build emotional intelligence to prepare you to be aware of yourself as an individual, so you will know what to do when a narcissist is in your circle. You can read my blog post on BUILDING CONFIDENCE THROUGH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: A JOURNEY TO SELF as a guide to help you journey through your self-discovery to build emotional intelligence. This will help you know more about yourself and how you can respond to other people’s actions/inactions in a way that you can control yourself and your emotions.
As you read this post, you might be asking yourself, how can one deal with an individual with narcissistic behavior? Also, if you see some of these checks and you can identify a striking image of yourself, and you are asking, how can you deal with it? Well, stay tuned for the next post, which will discuss all these.
In the meantime, you can share your take on this topic in the comment session and any contributions on other narcissistic checks that will be useful for people to be aware of.
Stay Thoughtful!
Thanks again Sparkles. What a thought provoking read! You have touched the nerve of narcissists, exposing the fact that they are insecure people who are acting out their insecurities on people who fall willing or unwilling into their trap(s). Once in, a narcissist makes you feel less than yourself. You lose who really are (strengths, brilliance, confidence talents etc) in order to make the relationship work or for peace sake. You are silenced! You are muted! They eventually turn you into a puppet or robot which makes it easy to manipulate you to feed there narcissistic hunger. I often wonder how an intelligent professional man/woman fall into the hands of a narcissist. Most times, they often mistake a narcissist as a confident, brilliant, ‘powerful’ and prefect partner. They take advantage of a partner’s weakness, ready to strike as soon as the partner gains their trust and is vulnerable. Sometimes, there is a thin line between patriarchy and narcissism. Growing in an African society, some women would say “Leave the man alone, my father treated my mother the same way. She did not die. They lived together until their old age” The men also feed into this, Wow wow wow! The tread should not continue! If you are in a situation where you can move away from a narcissist. Run o! Run o!. Many cult followership started with this. They Attract to Subdue. Sparkles, I can’t wait to read your thoughts on what to do around these kind of people
First of all, I want to appreciate you for not only taking the time to reading this post, but also sharing a well thought out comment.
Your comments are additional checks we all should also watch out and I appreciate it sharing it with us. I hope people can read it and run with it.
Narcissism is a real thing and an abnormal behavior that some intelligent and intellectual individuals do possess, which makes it very concerning.
Everyone should be on the look out to avoid being committed to one as many people fall into these traps and end up not fulfilling their purpose.
I appreciate your contribution and also your support! Keep staying thoughtful!
Wow, this is another thought-provoking one, Sparkles! Thank you for raising awareness to this modern day pandemic in the name of narcissism! What a bold way to bring it out for people to know that it does exist.
I totally agree with Bolaji! Very insightful comment, very true they are people victimized, silenced, and muted by these individuals, who take it a thing of joy to have control over other people, making them to loose their identity.
I hope others see this post and share it. I will share this as it is a must-share!
Well done, Sparkles!