Hello, Sparkling Minds!
It’s me again, your thoughtful personality, sharing my thoughts on how to deal with individuals with narcissistic behaviors, a connection from the previous post on The Narcissistic Checks.
I am humbled by the feedback I received for my last post on The Narcissistic Checks. This feedback tells me that this topic needs to be discussed to raise awareness, especially for future generations. Thank you! For those of you who still need to read it, do so before reading further into this post.
One of the best ways to deal with narcissists, especially at work, as bosses or colleagues, is to set healthy boundaries. If you want to know how to set healthy boundaries, I will refer you to my posts on Creating Healthy Boundaries: The Key To Building Better Relationships and The Power of Saying No. Due to the reasons of this being a professional setting, these individuals with narcissistic behaviors will, at some point, respect the healthy boundaries you have set, as pushing it further might cost them their jobs. These healthy boundaries can be in form of sticking to the purpose of your meetings, doing fantastic in your job, asking politely if you need clarifications to carry out your job correctly, and avoiding familiarities or personal talks with them, among others, will help define the limits they can relate with you. However, be ready to be disliked by them, and they will not mind spreading rumors about you to spoil your image. Now, since you are aware of this, it is up to you to refrain from responding to their proactive actions except for very grievous allegations, which should also be treated with wisdom as it is a professional setting. Instead, you will fall into the trap they have set for you, which is where they want you to be, so be aware!
Now, the tricky situation is if you have a spouse with narcissistic behaviors, the reason being you both have made an oath and commitment to be in holy matrimony. As I have stated earlier, they can only change if they realize their behaviors and are willing to turn a new leaf. The thing about narcissists as spouses is that they tend to use their husbands/wives as objects, meaning they need them when they only want to use them, and of course, treat them as non-existent when they are no longer of use to them at the time. Also, it is widespread for narcissistic spouses to subdue their significant other, making them lose their voice of purpose, which is why most of them end up losing their identity in marriage. They aim to make them feel they are not useful for anything, instead making it known that they are doing them a favor by being in their lives.
Remember, this journey to self is not just a walk in the park; it takes time as you need to study yourself and know who exactly you are intentionally. What this will do is as you begin to know yourself, you will start to understand your value, usefulness, and worth. Also, you will become so confident in yourself that you start naturally building those healthy boundaries. It will help you to begin to define what you can accept and will reject. As stated earlier, your narcissistic spouse will not like this at all because control is their weapon, and what you have done is take it away from them. Again, please avoid falling into the trap of responding to their provocative actions. Instead, kill them with kindness. Be polite and kind, and continue with your marital duties, but set healthy boundaries of things you will not accept. Silence is golden; when they are going low with tantrums, false accusations, guilty talks, etc., you go high by not responding, hence avoiding those traps. This will make them uncomfortable, and it is the reason why they do not like emotionally intelligent individuals, as they know emotionally intelligent individuals are hard ones to crack and cannot be easily manipulated, used, and dumped.
Please, before you get married or get involved in any form of intimate relationship, try and find narcissistic checks (including the ones mentioned in my previous post, The Narcissistic Checks); that way, you can easily walk away while you can to someone who will help you to know and appreciate your value and usefulness to fulfill your purpose, and avoid making mistakes. This is why you need a journey to self as you attract what you are. Also, reasons why we need to discuss these topics now to raise awareness so that ourselves and our future generations, do not fall into the traps of narcissists.
Sparkles!
I think narcissists out there will be upset with you as you have just exposed them. Not only providing ways to avoid them using the checks you shared and of course others, but ways to deal with them.
It is about time!
As always, well done! 👏🏼
Perfectly said. 👏👏
Another nice piece from you Sparkles. You answered many questions that victims of narcissists might have asked . You ‘showed’ a door of escape for victims who are most times overwhelmed and are looking for a way out. When I mean a door, it doesn’t not necessarily mean a door to physically walk out of (which is sometimes required), but a door of loss of sense of self worth, anxiety, depression, trust issue etc. I knew someone who narcissism affected and she began to experience physical symptoms which became worse over a couple of years. You will notice I used ” I knew”. This is because the lady died. She is dead! How many stories are out there about effects of narcissism on people that we are not aware of? Thanks once again Sparkles. You hit the nail on the head. I am going to bookmark this page for future reference. As you said, we can nip this in the bud if we handle this quickly once we notice any narcissistic tendencies in our children. This can help/save a whole generation!…No pun intended
I am perpetually thought about this, thankyou for putting up.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog post, Haywood! Your support is truly appreciated.
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Stay Thoughtful!