Hello, Sparkling Minds,
It is a pleasure to connect with you all through this post. This post is unique as it aims to spark thoughtful discussions based on your depth of awareness and the impact it can have on our community. Remember, our mission here at Thoughts By Sparkles is to raise awareness on important topics, empowering not just our current generation, but also our future ones. By doing so, we bridge the gap between our older, current, and future generations, nurturing empowered and thoughtful individuals.
It is a pleasure to connect with you all through this post. This post is unique as it aims to spark thoughtful discussions based on your depth of awareness and the impact it can have on our community. Remember, our mission here at Thoughts By Sparkles is to raise awareness on important topics, empowering not just our current generation, but also our future ones. By doing so, we bridge the gap between our older, current, and future generations, nurturing empowered and thoughtful individuals.
To no further ado, let’s read from this comment from Lovely Me, who not only made a very thoughtful comment from one of my posts on Father: A Daughter’s First Love (if you have not read, it is a must-read) but shared her personal experience. To understand the full context of this comment, you need to read this post first. This is also another opportunity to appreciate our fellow thoughtful people in their comments, assuring our sparkling minds that we are indeed a community of learning from each other and empowering ourselves through the knowledge acquired from lessons learned.
Lovely Me Posted:
“A girl’s first love is the father”; “A mother’s first love is the mother”; “My child is my hero”. Many people play around with these words, but we need to know that these words speak volume.
There is this girl who lost her dad at a very young age. Her dad, despite being a very busy businessman, would take his little girl to school himself despite having drivers(chauffeurs), sometimes eat alone with her & talk to her about life and take her to business meetings where a child is allowed in. Is the father perfect? Not at all. He has his shortcomings and shows to the girl that he is a mere human, working hard to stick to his values. The bar has been set high by this dad.
Sparkles, I would also like us to look at where the bar has been set so high that it’s been hard for a lady looking for someone like her ‘first love’ ends up not marrying or divorcing due to this bar and high expectations.
The bottom line is that fathers should not be a dad by name alone. Aside from being responsible financially and emotionally, even if divorced, work hard to be an example of how a good husband/man should be so that your daughters do not settle for less.
Let them know that it is possible to find somebody better than you or not exactly as good as you, but they should be themselves and ‘balance the equation’. Yes! Be themselves and never lose their core values (taught by you or experience/life) Single mothers by choice, divorce or death of a spouse with no man that could stand in as a dad or an example of one, do not lose hope. Remember the little girl I spoke of earlier? That girl is me. Yup. Me. My dad passed on over 5 decades ago and what I remember most is not the opulence we had but those piggy rides, monkeying around, the “That’s my girl” words & look; those meetings that had no meaning to a little girl then, and not forgetting the ‘bush meat’ he brought home from business trips 😊 I didn’t really have a man to look up to since my siblings are all girls. Most of my paternal uncles absconded with property titles/money and the only maternal uncle was patriarchal and lived far. God brought different people at different times along my path which shapened who I am now….and I am doing fine 👌
Another great piece Sparkles! Can’t wait to read the next one ”
Another great piece Sparkles! Can’t wait to read the next one ”
Lovely Me mentioned something very profound about ladies setting unrealistic standards that might end up making them single; either no one wants to marry them, or they become divorcees. Ladies, this is a kind reminder that your boyfriend, fiancée, or husband are not your fathers. There is a fragile line that differentiates them, which is where you need to use discretion and wisdom to make that differentiation. Their involvement of men in your life as a daughter and wife are fundamentally aligned. However, their approach is different, which is where ladies should identify these differences. Avoid comparing your father to your husband, as it leads to no good. In as much as a father is a daughter’s first love, ladies should be conscious of having unrealistic standards and expectations.
Thank you, Lovely Me, for your insightful comment. I hope it has sparked some thoughts and learnings for all of us. I encourage you to share your reflections in the comments section, whether it’s related to Lovely Me’s comment or any other aspect of this post.
I look forward to reading your thoughts and reflections in the comments section.
Xoxo, Stay Thoughtful!