Hello Thoughtful People,
How has your week been since the last post? I genuinely hope you’ve been finding small ways to take care of yourself, whether that’s a moment of silence before the day begins, a smile you didn’t expect, or even a deep breath that reminded you you’re still here. Life has a way of pulling us in so many directions, but it also has a way of revealing people to us in moments we least expect.
Have you ever noticed that? Someone can speak beautifully about loyalty, kindness, or love, but when the test comes, it’s not their words that hold up; it’s their actions. And often, it’s in the smallest, most ordinary moments that truth slips out.
I once worked with someone who constantly preached about “teamwork.” They were loud about collaboration, always first to say the word “we.” But when an opportunity arose to shine, suddenly the “we” became “me.” Credit was hoarded, praise was claimed, and those who actually did the work were invisible. Words said teamwork. Actions said self-interest. And isn’t that the story we’ve all seen in workplaces? Titles and talk don’t equal integrity. Integrity is what shows up when no one is watching.
It’s the same in relationships. Anyone can say “I love you.” But love isn’t found in the saying. It’s found in the staying. In the late-night phone call, I answered even when it was inconvenient. In listening without turning the moment back on themselves. In showing up when storms arrive, not disappearing when it costs something. Love without sacrifice is simply language.
Friendships, too, often whisper their truth through actions. You may have had a friend who laughed loudest at your jokes but went quiet when you shared your dreams or made a great achievement. Someone who said, “I’m here for you,” but somehow was always too busy when life pressed in. It’s hard, isn’t it? To realize that proximity doesn’t equal loyalty. Just because someone sits at your table doesn’t mean they’ll stand with you when the table flips. True friendship is revealed not in good times, but in the hidden tests, the subtle ways they either support or shrink back.
And then there’s family. Blood ties are powerful, yes. But sometimes family is the place where words and actions clash the hardest. Relatives who say, “We’re family,” but gossip behind your back. Or who preach loyalty yet manipulate with guilt. The hardest lesson? Blood doesn’t automatically equal safety. Family isn’t only inherited, it’s also chosen, shaped by consistent love and respect.
All of these moments, if we’re willing to see them clearly, teach us one profound lesson: people may speak with words, but they confess with actions. Their actions are the second language, one that never lies.
But here’s where wisdom comes in. This doesn’t mean we grow bitter or suspicious. No, wisdom means you believe the actions, you learn the lesson, and you set your boundaries. Gentleness means you don’t let their contradictions turn you into someone hard or hateful. “Wise as serpents, peaceful as doves.” That’s the balance. Observing sharply, discerning truth, but carrying peace in how you respond.
So maybe this is your reflection this week: Who in your life is showing you who they truly are, and are you brave enough to believe them?
Lessons Learned
- Words are easy. Actions are expensive.
- Integrity is proven in the unseen moments, not in the announcements.
- Love without sacrifice is only a language.
- Proximity doesn’t equal loyalty.
- Family is more than shared blood; it’s shared safety.
- To live wisely is to pay attention without becoming hardened.
These are lessons I am still learning myself. I don’t share them from a place of perfection, but from the reality of life’s classroom, where none of us graduate flawless; we only grow wiser with each chapter.
Questions to Reflect On
- 1. In your workplace, who consistently shows you that they value teamwork, and who only says they do?
- 2. In your relationships, do the people who say “I love you” also prove it when it’s inconvenient?
- 3. Among your friends, who quietly celebrate your wins, and who grow silent in your joy?
- 4. In your family circle, where do actions and words collide, and what boundaries might protect your peace?
- 5. Most importantly: What have you been showing others about who you are?
These reflections are not just about spotting others; they’re about becoming the kind of person whose actions align with their words. That’s the work of wisdom, and the work of growth.
If this stirred something in you, I’ve written entire books to walk deeper into these questions, books that help you discern, heal, and build circles that reflect truth instead of illusion. You can find them on Amazon or Books.by. Consider them companions for the moments when actions speak louder than words.
Until the next post…
stay thoughtful.