Hello Thoughtful People!
I know you have been anticipating part 2 of what men and women want, and I will
share my observations and thoughts on what we can do as individuals.
We all need to go on a journey of self-discovery to discover who we are and our
identity! This helps us build self-awareness, giving us the ability to know our
strengths and weaknesses and develop emotional intelligence. This is self-discovery!
If you want to know more in detail, you can read one of my posts, “ Building
Confidence Through Emotional Intelligence—A Journey To Self. ”
As individuals, once you discover yourself, which, mind you, takes time, it’s a
journey, not a stroll. You will need to take some time to know deliberately and
intentionally who you are. This will make you understand areas of strengths and
improvements, which will allow you to see the man or woman that will complement
them. It means you will have the ability, through self-discovery from emotional
intelligence, to know the man or woman whose strengths will complement your
weaknesses, and your strength will complement their shortcomings. Again, there is
no perfect person, just someone whose “weaknesses” are manageable and yours as
well.
Now, whoever loves you and wants to be committed to being with you will do that,
knowing who you indeed are and understanding it without giving conditions. It means
they are emotionally intelligent as well and have done the work of discovering
themselves as you have done.
The most important thing before getting into a marriage/relationship is selection,
which means choosing the right spouse/partner. If you have worked on yourself to
the journey of self-discovery and you select the person who has not done that work,
then you end up asking yourself, what does this man/woman want? The thing is,
you, a man of quality, and you, a woman of quality, chose a person who has not
invested that quality into themselves as a spouse/partner.
Think about it. A couple that has invested in themselves, with the quality of emotional
intelligence and self-discovery, will complement each other; they will know each
other’s strengths and weaknesses as they are emotionally self-aware individuals.
That man of quality will appreciate it when his quality wife is submissive. That
woman of quality will acknowledge that quality husband when he is loving and shows
her that he cares for her. It is a win-win situation.
I know most of you might think this only happens in a perfect world. Well, it does
happen in this imperfect world; however, work and time were invested to get this
result; again, it just takes deliberate action.
Now, to do the individuals already in a marriage/relationship and are not enjoying it
due to not being appreciated and taken for granted even after doing everything
possible to make things work. Well, one, it takes two like-minded people to make a
marriage/relationship work, so you cannot make it work by just your efforts. Two,
begin to set healthy boundaries and teach them how to treat you properly. It should
be done civilly without sentiments; if not, it defeats the purpose. This is not an easy
process, I must be honest, as the other party involved in the marriage/relationship is
used to you being submissive or loving even though it is taken for granted. So, with
this change in setting healthy boundaries, they might become uncomfortable; some
might want to push back, BUT DO NOT FALL INTO THAT TRAP. Maintain your
calm and focus on your emotional stability while creating healthy boundaries.
If you need to know how to set healthy boundaries, you can read my blog post,
“ Creating Healthy Boundaries: The Key To Building Better Relationships. ” It will
give you objective steps to take to create healthy boundaries that will help you be valued in your marriage or relationship.
Men and women do not really know what they want in a marriage or relationship
because they are not emotionally self-aware. They need to do the work to
understand who they are and who will complement their strengths and areas of
improvement.
So, thoughtful people, I hope you found this very resourceful. Please feel free to post
your thoughts or questions in the comment section, and through that, we can all
learn and grow from each other.
Stay Thoughtful!